April 20, 2021

Why Russian Submariners Don't Smile

Here's the main list why Russians don't smile.

Unsmiling Russians cannot even be blamed on Russia's current autocrat, Vladimir Puton (see his KGB mugshot). This is because unsmiling Russian autocracy goes back many centuries, eg. Ivan the Terrible wasn't smiley, happy'go'lucky. 

Smiling introduces too much human warmth in cold Russia - where you need a tough, untrusting,  exterior. Only Gorbachev was able to introduce little smiling for a few years between Communism and Putinism.

In Russian submarines, notorious for sinking more than anyone elses, smiling can introduce seawater.


An Unsmiling Russian Submarine Putinesque Political Kommissar . Note, she is turning red, because she must hold her breath. (Courtesy Steven Universe)
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